Maturity

Jamie recently commented on the fact that she thought motherhood would mature her. Only to find herself one month after the birth of her son, making him run by the webcam like a muppet.

Maturity is so overrated. I constantly have 14 year olds telling me how immature I am.

On Monday, I went into “Danny Hysterics” during a junior high class after comparing one of my really shy, quiet student’s side profile to that of the Egyptian Sphinx in our history book. Upon comparing the two, my students noticed the similarities immediately and began laughing, as well. Then I started laughing more.

They stopped.

I continued.

This made me laugh harder. Then, I didn't know why I was laughing anymore because it wasn't really that funny. This caused me to laugh even harder and start crying. I tried to gather myself, calm down and start to read again but before I could finish the sentence my voice went up two octaves and I started giggling like a little school girl. The class just stared in awe as they watched their teacher train wreck. Most of them started laughing again due to how stupid I looked but when I couldn’t stop, they all began to feel uncomfortable as they couldn’t get their head around what was so damned funny.

Did you ever make a teacher really angry at school and begin laughing, despite knowing full well it was only making them angrier? And how, when you realize your laughing is quickly sinking you further- laugh louder? Well that is what I was experiencing at the time but also realizing that the roles were usually reversed. It is not the teacher who should be receiving disapproving comments from the students on how childish he is.

That pretty much ended my class. I spent the last 10 minutes of the lesson trying to take deep breaths and focusing… only to burst out laughing over and over again. It was then time for my next class, which is full of grade ones. I walked into their classroom, sat down quietly next to one of the girls while the Chinese teacher finished her lesson and wiped the tears from my eyes. I looked up to see that the whole grade one class was looking at me wondering why I was crying. This again caused me to lose it yet again. But this time, the students, who had no idea what I was laughing about, just joined in. They didn’t care. Soon the whole class was in hysterics laughing about absolutely nothing. This carried on for quite some time and the Chinese teacher walked out shaking her head as she was the only one hearing herself talk anymore. And there we sat giggling happily for no reason. It was then that it dawned on me, “Ahhhh. This is where I belong. Now these are my kinda people.”

Screw maturity and bring on my baby! Oh the fun we will have.

Week 12

3 Months and all is well.

The scary first trimester is over and we can now afford to be a little less worried about any problems occurring with the pregnancy. People, the Internet and magazines have had me totally freaked out that something would go wrong with the pregnancy. So now I can breathe a sigh of relief.

Jenny is still doing well and is getting less and less tired. She still hasn't told her family that she is pregnant yet but I think she probably will this weekend.

I am stupidly busy. I am working 6 days a week, studying Chinese twice a week and doing rehabilitation for my back five or six days a week depending on how sore I am. I am also trying to start up a business with James, too. So if any of you have $100,000 laying around and want to give it to us, please let me know.

The weather has been horrible the last month. It is the worst "Plum Rain" season we have had since I moved here. It literally has not stopped raining for a week and today it was raining so hard that I couldn't hear my students talk due to the roar of the rainfall on the roof. Typhoon season might be insane this year. My Helly Hanson rain gear has become my favorite possession. I am the only one that shows up for work not drenched and actually enjoy driving in the down pour. Sadly, my ghetto scooter is packing it in and I am going to have to buy a new one soon. Insult to injury, all this rain makes me realize that I am going to have to buy a car to drive Jenny and Baby Danny around in. It terrifies me having my pregnant wife driving a scooter around in this weather.

I really don't want a car but I guess it is a necessity now.

In other news, Jamie and Heather ganged up on me and made me second guess when my mom's birthday is. I swear I have numerical dyslexia. I absolutely cannot remember numbers. I don't even know what my home phone number is. Really. Regardless, every year, I forget the exact date. When I asked Jamie, she used it against me and even corrupted the likes of Heather! Who I thought was beyond such things. Heather Facebooked me and told me her birthday was in July. Which I knew wasn't true. Heather Brass, who has enjoyed "nice-girl immunity" for the last 18 years just painted a huge target on herself. You are going down Brass! Feel the wrath of Danny! I don't get mad. I don't get even. I cross the line.

Here is an example of the line I cross. ________________________________ (me)

As I told Jamie, I am actually a little excited that Heather chose to mess with me because before this, I would have felt guilty playing a practical joke on her.

11 Weeks

We did another ultra-sound last Thursday. I was overwhelmed to not only be able to see our child for the first time but also watch him/her kicking and touching its face. I was blown away at how active the baby was already. I can't really explain the feeling I had staring at the screen but it was a lot like the feeling of falling in love with someone for the first time. Needless to say, I have been cruising around on Cloud 9 and am stupidly excited about being a daddy.

Jamie and Sullivan sent me a video the other day that was so cute. It just gets me more excited. Moreover, every photo of Sullivan I see makes makes me realize how my baby will totally dominate that skinny kid in a no holds-bar cage fight. Baby wars!

Of course, as Lindsay is already going for number two, she gives Luke an unfair advantage. He will have a tag-team partner right off the bat. That said, rest be assured that my baby will be taught to fight dirty.

Jenny still has not been sick whatsoever and apart from being tired is doing great. We are starting to see a bit of a belly on her and she is also developing a nice rack. So all is good in Tainan City.

That's all for now.